Way out in the canoe, on the water,
I see something beneath me that makes my eyelids flutter.
Down in the depths below, I see a fish.
I see it clearly, it makes me want to wish,
That I could stay here forever,
And that I would leave, never.
But the silence is broken with a yell,
That reminds me that I have to go home, just as well.
So I say my goodbyes to this place,
Even though it brings a frown to my face.
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Karen, great job on this. It's a perfect poem. I like how it rhymes. :-) I like the "And that I would leave never." I like how you changed how the sentence was organized. I can't imagine you with a frown on your face!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Very sweet. I think you should keep foolin' with poetry. Next look to what's called cadence, the rhythm of the poem line by line. things don't have to always match, but experiment with the rhythm next. I can show you if you want.
ReplyDeleteKaren, you did an amazing job on this! I love Door County so much, I wish I never had to leave too! Maybe next time you could try to make it longer, I'd love to hear more. I agree with Jennifer, you couldn't even frown if you tried!
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