Author’s Note: While reading chapters 5,6 and 7 of the novel The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, by Robert Stevenson, I was intrigued by the constant struggle between curiosity and disregard. Especially inspiring was this quote: “It is one thing to mortify curiosity, another to conquer it; and it may be doubted if, from that day forth, Utterson desired the society of his surviving friend with the same eagerness” (59). I wrote a short story in response to this motif of curiosity and what effects it can have on us in our future.
I
Hovering uncomfortably on the jagged edge of a molded plastic chair, the man was alone with his thoughts – alone to confront the curiosities of his mind. With nothing so much distracting as aging magazines, the waiting room was an ideal place to think; to think about the future; the future that seemed to narrow and suffocate with every click of the clock. His life was on hold – a constant, nauseating cycle of sitting and fidgeting, questioning and asking – he was stuck in one of those dreadful, slow-motion movies, trudging throughout his life as if the air was suddenly full of molasses.
White-washed walls with colorless lamps and art were his new companions; although faithful and constant, his new friends could hardly understand the cloudy and constant confusion congesting his mind. What was wrong with him, he could not say, for the majority of his time was spent in the waiting room. As much as the doctors claimed to want to help him, they spent little time explaining and clarifying the disease that was nibbling away pieces of him from the inside out.
Connecting and disconnecting, his mind operated as a switch board, frantically shifting from blank to blinking. Clenching and relaxing, his hands fought between the numbness of innocence and the scathing pain of curiosity. Glazing and intensifying, his eyes fluctuated between the focus of thinking to the cloudiness of disregarding.
Finally, after minutes, hours and days wasted while waiting in the waiting room, the man decided to succumb to his inquisitiveness, to give way to his thoughtful mind. At once, the wheels began turning and spinning to no end, full of future possibilities and horrors.
II
Six days later, the man died of an all-consuming brain tumor – a disease that had engulfed his body and soul. For some, this was no surprise. After all, curiosity killed the cat.
Karen! Oh my goodness! I cannot get over that last sentence, it wraped up the whole story very well! The rest of your piece was also very good too! Everyone always wants to know every little thing and you showed it by writing this! Very good job!
ReplyDeleteMany people can identify with this piece and the unquenchable curiosity of the man (is that why he remained nameless?). The way you worded the beginning made it seem as if I was actually in the waiting room with him. Choosing "nauseating" to describe the cycle added the perfect effect of both sickness and annoyance. "Connecting and disconnecting" and "Clenching and relaxing" were two really cool opposites you incorporated. The only thing I would change is the wordiness of the first sentence; it's loaded with descriptive adjectives--all of which are awesome--but there are so many that they loose their effect. Oh, and I agree with Kate-the finishing line is extremely powerful and to the point!
ReplyDeletep.s. do you believe in the idea "ignorance is bliss"? haha just a question.
Karen, this was amazing! I loved everything about it--the great description, the saturated diction, and the idea behind it! The only thing you could possibly do would be to make a sentence or two a little less wordy, like Lian said, but even with those sentences this piece is wonderful! I love the conciseness of the last sentence; it wrapped up and got the main point across very clearly. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow, Karen, this is amazing! I liked so much--all of the great diction and description that you always have in your writing, the third paragraph had a really cool effect with the repetition, and I loved the last paragraph, it was to the point and a really good way to end it. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job getting across your point. I still really like your last line...
ReplyDeleteI love the irony in contrast between what the docters are supposed to do and what they actually do. Your analogies are fantastic as well. I'd suggest using a little more symbolism if you make it longer - it could work well - but with the length of your story, what you had was perfect. Great job!
Your writing technique and complexity as an individual truly separates your work from the other student. Throughout the reading you have vast vocabulary, connection words, parallel sentences and overall great diction. With an exception of some of the sentences seemed wordy at times. Once that tiny issue is fixed the point and purpose of your main concept and idea can be more clearly portrayed. Yet overall great job and keep up the fantastic work!
ReplyDeleteThis was really interesting. I absolutely love how creative this is, I know that for a fact that when I was writing nothing like this even came to my mind. But I think it is a really cool connection. My only criticism would have to be that the ending seems a little rushed to me. That might have been what you were going for, I am not sure, but that is the only thing I would personally change. But overall, I can tell that you wrote this piece, you have a very unique voice and sound professional. I love all your diction and kind of "duality" that you presented, like the clenched and relaxed. It was a really cool piece and love your interpretation of that quote.
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